Hey gang,
I'm sorry it's taken so long to get another message up but I've had a right month of it. There's no rest for the protester. Literally! I did a sponsored stay awake session in demonstration of the cruelty that goes on in the nocturnal section of Chester zoo! Apparently, it's been reported in the papers, the keepers there have been mistreating the likes of bats and owls by messing with their heads. I've heard that they've been leaving the lights on at night and training the cockerels to crow at seven in the evening instead of the morning and frying off bacon at night. It's getting so bad that the foxes are going mental, apparently the other day one of them got caught up in a rope swing. People were saying it was suicide but I think it's more likely that he was just half asleep and didn't see where he was going. 94 hours I stayed up! I was absolutely knackered, it got to the point where I was washing down Pro Plus with Red Bull =, mind you that back fired. I was only supposed to stay awake for 48! I spent the rest of the time wired on the biggest come down ever. Having said that I did spend a lot of my time watching BBC's learning zone, so now I'm quite good at sign language, which works out perfectly for my next campaign. It's a charity attempting to tackle the prejudice that faces people that cannot hear. It's called Deaf Threats. More on that soon.
As well as that I've been helping Children In Need. Not the programme, I've been working at my local remand centre helping to get unruly kids back on the straight and narrow. It's been challenging but ultimately rewarding. I was working with one lad in particular who was in for ABH, nice lad, really good at Boggle. But anyway when I first started there he was a bit unsure but by the end I think I'd won him round. He even said 'The next time I'm gonna deck someone I'll think about you'. Just hearing those words was payment enough. That said, I still charged for my services. Volunteering is a noble profession but it doesn't keep you in dishwasher tablets.
That's all for now, speak soon!
Jerry x
Friday 11 December 2009
Wednesday 11 November 2009
Brick me up, before you go-go!
Alright! I just thought I'd put a little bit of respect out their to all those Berliners celebrating 20 years since the fall of the Berlin Wall! Just like David Hasselhoff, those guys were 'looking for freedom' and thankfully they found it. Just like the Hoff. And all the more respect to them for finding without the aid of a satnav or Kitt, Dave's car in the popular Knight Rider series, which now I think of it was almost like an early form of satnav, albeit one that has it's own independent thought.
Anyway back to the Wall thing. It was a magical moment to be a part of and all those people that were there knew that it would be one of those life changing events that they remember forever. I wasn't there, obviously, I was two, but one of my earliest memories is of that sense of excitement that was around and the buzz that was running through my house at the time. Not that my parents were particularly invested in European politics but they were always ones to complain against eyesores that weren't in keeping with native aesthetics, so for them it was a real cathartic evening. They were busy at the time protesting against the new McDonalds drive-thru that had just been built near our house, so they saw the Germans as kindred spirits. But I think it's clear to see that the idea of being rebellious is something that was very strong in my upbringing, and unlike a lot of parents it was something mine encouraged. The first time I wet myself as a child, they saw it more as breaking free from the shackles of percieved hygene rather than a kid pissing himself. But that's just a different level of committment.
Well that's all from me for now, remember: knock down those walls. Unless they're not yours to knock down. In no way am I encouraging any form of vandalism to anyone's property that isn't otherwise agreed on before hand. I mean my neighbours rubber plant has started hanging over into my backyard but I wouldn't take the removal of it into my own hands.
best,
Jerryx
Anyway back to the Wall thing. It was a magical moment to be a part of and all those people that were there knew that it would be one of those life changing events that they remember forever. I wasn't there, obviously, I was two, but one of my earliest memories is of that sense of excitement that was around and the buzz that was running through my house at the time. Not that my parents were particularly invested in European politics but they were always ones to complain against eyesores that weren't in keeping with native aesthetics, so for them it was a real cathartic evening. They were busy at the time protesting against the new McDonalds drive-thru that had just been built near our house, so they saw the Germans as kindred spirits. But I think it's clear to see that the idea of being rebellious is something that was very strong in my upbringing, and unlike a lot of parents it was something mine encouraged. The first time I wet myself as a child, they saw it more as breaking free from the shackles of percieved hygene rather than a kid pissing himself. But that's just a different level of committment.
Well that's all from me for now, remember: knock down those walls. Unless they're not yours to knock down. In no way am I encouraging any form of vandalism to anyone's property that isn't otherwise agreed on before hand. I mean my neighbours rubber plant has started hanging over into my backyard but I wouldn't take the removal of it into my own hands.
best,
Jerryx
Thursday 5 November 2009
Comedy Catastrophe
Well it's all kicking off here again with the whole 'whats acceptable in comedy' debate, and as you may expect I'm here at the front line doing my bit in support. I'm not going to stand by and watch as my country goes to pot at the hands of some foul mouthed comedians. It's not on. It all started when Russel Grant left an obscene answer phone message on Del Boy's mobile. Which, although it was a while ago, is still very much a sore subject for me. I mean voicemail is hard enough to work out as it is, the last thing you need after dealing with the whole automated keypad stuff is to be faced with a load of abuse. It's ridiculous. So I'm standing up and saying no to offensive comedy, I'm trying to get us back to the good old days of gentle comedy such as Morcambe and Wise, The Two Ronnies and 999: Life Savers, good quality programming that didn't offend anyone.
I think the majority of the blame lies at the feet of the BBC, you know, don't get me wrong, they do some cracking programming, my day never really starts until Cash in The Attic. But that said I think they're standards are slipping, it's even seeping into none comedy shows now, I was watching an episode of the Dog Whisperer the other day and some of the language coming out of that fella's mouth was unbelievable. 'Bitch' this, 'bitch' that, it was absolutely ridiculous, the dog didn't deserve that. I even thought I heard Huw Edwards say 'fuck the queen' once but in retrospect I think he just said 'cook with steam' it was a report about healthier eating or something but still. The BBC needs to stop pandering to the lowest common denominator by producing crude, unnecessary, insulting rubbish. They need to start by getting rid of those testosterone fueled panel shows, it's just silly little boys trying to say the most offensive jokes. The same thing happened with Call My Bluff, that was nice enough to begin with but then Sandi Toksvig starts sprouting off all these blatant lies and it just became a farce. Luckily they cancelled it after Bob Holness said a racist joke so at least they learnt their lesson then.
So I am proud to announce the formation of the charity Unkind Comedy Not Tolerated or UCNT for short. With this there will be the start of the 'Clean Not Mean' campaign, this is going to attempt to sort through the tide of unsuitable comedy so we are left with the nice ones. We are going to do this by trying to establish a law that says any new joke needs to be Ok'ed by a panel of judges including David Cameron, Trisha and the editor of the Daily Mail. I think in this climate of controversy these are the only sound-minded people we can turn to, please support me in this fight and remember 'Be A Friend: Don't Offend.'
Jerry x
I think the majority of the blame lies at the feet of the BBC, you know, don't get me wrong, they do some cracking programming, my day never really starts until Cash in The Attic. But that said I think they're standards are slipping, it's even seeping into none comedy shows now, I was watching an episode of the Dog Whisperer the other day and some of the language coming out of that fella's mouth was unbelievable. 'Bitch' this, 'bitch' that, it was absolutely ridiculous, the dog didn't deserve that. I even thought I heard Huw Edwards say 'fuck the queen' once but in retrospect I think he just said 'cook with steam' it was a report about healthier eating or something but still. The BBC needs to stop pandering to the lowest common denominator by producing crude, unnecessary, insulting rubbish. They need to start by getting rid of those testosterone fueled panel shows, it's just silly little boys trying to say the most offensive jokes. The same thing happened with Call My Bluff, that was nice enough to begin with but then Sandi Toksvig starts sprouting off all these blatant lies and it just became a farce. Luckily they cancelled it after Bob Holness said a racist joke so at least they learnt their lesson then.
So I am proud to announce the formation of the charity Unkind Comedy Not Tolerated or UCNT for short. With this there will be the start of the 'Clean Not Mean' campaign, this is going to attempt to sort through the tide of unsuitable comedy so we are left with the nice ones. We are going to do this by trying to establish a law that says any new joke needs to be Ok'ed by a panel of judges including David Cameron, Trisha and the editor of the Daily Mail. I think in this climate of controversy these are the only sound-minded people we can turn to, please support me in this fight and remember 'Be A Friend: Don't Offend.'
Jerry x
Tuesday 27 October 2009
Protestman Pat
I for one am in full support of the strikes at Royal Mail, these guys are standing up for what they believe in and so they should. We have to stick it to the man and show him we're not going to be messed around, we have to show that we are all equal and deserve a decent pay for a decent days work. Forget all else we need to fight for what we know is right!
That said, it is a doubled edged sword for me as I have been waiting for a Cat Stevens CD to come from Amazon and as yet it hasn't arrived. It was supposed to come last week the same day as the strike but for obvious reasons it didn't, that's fine I don't mind it's all part of the game we play, as a protest singer and freelance activist I have to be willing to compromise and accept certain sacrifices in order to get our way, but seriously, it's been two weeks now since I ordered it. I emailed the customer support team at Amazon and they have assured me it has been dispatched but there's still no sign of it. Come on guys, I truly understand the need to strike, OK, you know if you're not getting paid fairly then the best thing to do is stop working but you know, you're not on strike now so there's no excuse for shoddy workmanship. I've missed out on three days of protesting and that's just because I had to wait in for the post. We don't have a big letter box at my flat you see, so I have to be there to accept packages and larger letters because if I don't then they deliver them to next door and he never gives them back. And if you're reading this Gary; then yes I mean you! I'm still waiting for the third season of Lost, season four has already arrived but I have absolutely no idea what's going on now. I literally am lost.
Anyway keep fighting the system guys you have my support.
Jerry x
That said, it is a doubled edged sword for me as I have been waiting for a Cat Stevens CD to come from Amazon and as yet it hasn't arrived. It was supposed to come last week the same day as the strike but for obvious reasons it didn't, that's fine I don't mind it's all part of the game we play, as a protest singer and freelance activist I have to be willing to compromise and accept certain sacrifices in order to get our way, but seriously, it's been two weeks now since I ordered it. I emailed the customer support team at Amazon and they have assured me it has been dispatched but there's still no sign of it. Come on guys, I truly understand the need to strike, OK, you know if you're not getting paid fairly then the best thing to do is stop working but you know, you're not on strike now so there's no excuse for shoddy workmanship. I've missed out on three days of protesting and that's just because I had to wait in for the post. We don't have a big letter box at my flat you see, so I have to be there to accept packages and larger letters because if I don't then they deliver them to next door and he never gives them back. And if you're reading this Gary; then yes I mean you! I'm still waiting for the third season of Lost, season four has already arrived but I have absolutely no idea what's going on now. I literally am lost.
Anyway keep fighting the system guys you have my support.
Jerry x
Monday 19 October 2009
Stop Chewin' the Fat!
Hey blog readers,
I was watching the news this morning and I saw something so shocking that I spat my Cinnamon Grahams across the room. Apparently some of us are making fun of fat people! What is going on in the world if you can't be bigger boned without someone shouting 'chub monster' at you? It's not on. They are trying to bring in a law that states that making fun of people larger than the average is a hate crime up there with jibes at race, age and religion and I for one am supporting this movement.
This 'fatism' is everywhere, in fact just the other day I was in a branch of Starbucks and they asked if I wanted a 'skinny latte', well I'm not going to stand for that, so I told them, I'd like a full fat latte because it doesn't matter what size it is they're all equal. As it happened I only drank half, I threw the rest away it was awful. Too sickly and creamy, it was like drinking paint. And it had chunks in it. But I think the message is still clear - 'Fight the Fatist!'. Although it's early days I'm working on getting a group together to fight this injustice and prejudice, I think we could make people rethink things and really make a difference in the world. I've set up a Facebook group, so far there are three members, check it out - facebook.com/fatface!
Apparently this law that they're trying to bring in has come from America which is no surprise. They're really good at getting in early with this sort of thing. It aims to get those that make fun of fatties arrested, which is a great thing. I do believe it's a problem up their with racism. You know if we'd all been doing our bit properly this would have come up much sooner and 'Crash' would have been a completely different film. Well it would have been a completely different crash, I mean if the racists were quite chubby then there would have been less chance of the airbag deploying which could have caused a whole load of extra complications. That wouldn't have been good. Plus there would have been excess chaffing from the seat belts. Drive safe.
It is anyone's right to be big or small, everyone can look however they want as long as they're happy, they can exercise or not depending on if they can be bothered and no one can say anything against it! Come on people widen your minds as well as your waist bands! Don't be mentally anorexic! Stuff yourself with this information to lead a healthier lifestyle! I like that! That could form part of a new song to help raise awareness, it could be called 'Feed the World - Whilst Following a Daily Fitness Regime!' - watch this space.
So I hope I've brought this to your attention and made you think. Remember guys 'Fat is Phat'!
Peace out!
Jerry x
I was watching the news this morning and I saw something so shocking that I spat my Cinnamon Grahams across the room. Apparently some of us are making fun of fat people! What is going on in the world if you can't be bigger boned without someone shouting 'chub monster' at you? It's not on. They are trying to bring in a law that states that making fun of people larger than the average is a hate crime up there with jibes at race, age and religion and I for one am supporting this movement.
This 'fatism' is everywhere, in fact just the other day I was in a branch of Starbucks and they asked if I wanted a 'skinny latte', well I'm not going to stand for that, so I told them, I'd like a full fat latte because it doesn't matter what size it is they're all equal. As it happened I only drank half, I threw the rest away it was awful. Too sickly and creamy, it was like drinking paint. And it had chunks in it. But I think the message is still clear - 'Fight the Fatist!'. Although it's early days I'm working on getting a group together to fight this injustice and prejudice, I think we could make people rethink things and really make a difference in the world. I've set up a Facebook group, so far there are three members, check it out - facebook.com/fatface!
Apparently this law that they're trying to bring in has come from America which is no surprise. They're really good at getting in early with this sort of thing. It aims to get those that make fun of fatties arrested, which is a great thing. I do believe it's a problem up their with racism. You know if we'd all been doing our bit properly this would have come up much sooner and 'Crash' would have been a completely different film. Well it would have been a completely different crash, I mean if the racists were quite chubby then there would have been less chance of the airbag deploying which could have caused a whole load of extra complications. That wouldn't have been good. Plus there would have been excess chaffing from the seat belts. Drive safe.
It is anyone's right to be big or small, everyone can look however they want as long as they're happy, they can exercise or not depending on if they can be bothered and no one can say anything against it! Come on people widen your minds as well as your waist bands! Don't be mentally anorexic! Stuff yourself with this information to lead a healthier lifestyle! I like that! That could form part of a new song to help raise awareness, it could be called 'Feed the World - Whilst Following a Daily Fitness Regime!' - watch this space.
So I hope I've brought this to your attention and made you think. Remember guys 'Fat is Phat'!
Peace out!
Jerry x
Monday 12 October 2009
Greenpeace please!
Hey Bloggers, it's me, fight the cause!
Now some of you may have noticed that yesterday 50 protesters from Greenpeace scaled the walls of the Houses of Parliament to protest about climate change, 20 of the fellas are still up there! But I know what you're thinking; Jerry how comes you're not up there supporting them? Well, although I am not an official member of Greenpeace, I do do some freelance work for them from time to time. Just to make up the numbers. And I was supposed to be among those very few up their today and yesterday but in the end I just had too many commitments. Well the truth is I missed the coach. We had it all planned out, I was going to join them up their to spread the word about global warming, I was even going to perform my latest protest ballad 'Turn It Down to 30' while they read out the manifesto but unfortunately it wasn't to be.
The original plan was to meet the coach at 11am to drive down the the Houses of Parliament but I was still stuck in my local branch of Millets at ten to! I was discussing the best form of spray on waterproofing with the sales assistant and just lost track of time. I'm absolutely gutted as you can imagine, not only did I miss out on sticking one to the man but I spent over £300 on a sleeping bag, ground sheet and a pair of fully lined durable hiking boots. That's a waste in itself. Still there's always eBay. Ridiculous. Anyway my heart goes out to the boys I hope they got the message across, we came up with a right catchy slogan 'Sunshine Bummer'. See it's a play on the phrase sunshine summer. Quite clever actually. It just goes to show that sometimes these big demonstrations really do make a difference. Like the time I was doing my bit for Fathers For Justice, well sort of, actually it was just a Rooftop Halloween party that got a bit out of hand but never mind.
Anyway that's all from me, remember don't fight for your right. (I can't stand violent demonstrations)
Cheers
Jerry x
Now some of you may have noticed that yesterday 50 protesters from Greenpeace scaled the walls of the Houses of Parliament to protest about climate change, 20 of the fellas are still up there! But I know what you're thinking; Jerry how comes you're not up there supporting them? Well, although I am not an official member of Greenpeace, I do do some freelance work for them from time to time. Just to make up the numbers. And I was supposed to be among those very few up their today and yesterday but in the end I just had too many commitments. Well the truth is I missed the coach. We had it all planned out, I was going to join them up their to spread the word about global warming, I was even going to perform my latest protest ballad 'Turn It Down to 30' while they read out the manifesto but unfortunately it wasn't to be.
The original plan was to meet the coach at 11am to drive down the the Houses of Parliament but I was still stuck in my local branch of Millets at ten to! I was discussing the best form of spray on waterproofing with the sales assistant and just lost track of time. I'm absolutely gutted as you can imagine, not only did I miss out on sticking one to the man but I spent over £300 on a sleeping bag, ground sheet and a pair of fully lined durable hiking boots. That's a waste in itself. Still there's always eBay. Ridiculous. Anyway my heart goes out to the boys I hope they got the message across, we came up with a right catchy slogan 'Sunshine Bummer'. See it's a play on the phrase sunshine summer. Quite clever actually. It just goes to show that sometimes these big demonstrations really do make a difference. Like the time I was doing my bit for Fathers For Justice, well sort of, actually it was just a Rooftop Halloween party that got a bit out of hand but never mind.
Anyway that's all from me, remember don't fight for your right. (I can't stand violent demonstrations)
Cheers
Jerry x
Friday 9 October 2009
Give Barack A Chance!
Hey there blog fans, fight the cause!
I just thought I'd better say a quick congratulations to President Barack Obama for winning the Nobel Peace Prize. Obviously it being a prize you win for spreading peace is something I deeply believe in supporting, and who better to win it than old Barry! Now I know there's been a lot of criticism about it, what with people saying 'oh he didn't deserve to win' and 'he hasn't done anything yet' and 'It's a bloody outrage' and yeah, while there may be some truth to that all I am saying is, give him a chance. Just like John Lennon used to say. And he was a big fan of peace, he was always banging on about it. Mind you I don't think he ever won an award for it. He does have an airport named after him though, so it's swings and roundabouts I suppose. He probably didn't win one though because while he said he was doing stuff for peace he was never out of bed, that is one thing Baz has against him. I bet a day hasn't gone by since he was elected where he's thought 'you know what? I think I deserve a lie in today'. In that sense he's much more hands on than John.
I have nothing against Mr Lennon himself, he seemed to be a lovely guy but I did have problems with his messages. Yes he was all for peace but as I've said A: he couldn't drag himself away from the duvet and B: He was always a bit near sighted in his goals. 'Imagine' was a great song but you can imagine a world with no possessions all you want Johnny boy but just imagining it is doing no good. You have to actually do something about it. What if Martin Luther King had just imagined a better world and left it at that? He'd have had his dream then rolled over and snuggled up to Yoko to drift off again.
So yeah I'm all for Barack winning the prize, good on him. I'm doing what I can for peace and while I'm not doing it for the accolades it would be nice to know that your good work goes appreciated. The closest I've got to that is getting a certificate to show I completed my level one water safety course and all I had to do for that was wear my pyjamas in the pool and swim with a football under my chin. My friend Gary was livid because he didn't get his certificate, the teacher said if the demonstration doll had been a real child then they would have drowned before he'd even got his shirt off. I used to bring my medal in every week just to rub it in. It was brilliant. I imagine that's how Mr Obama is feeling right now...although I don't think he gets to sew a little badge into his trunks.
Anyway that's all from me for now, keep doing what you can and remember if you want to MAKE a difference, you have to BE the difference. That's got nothing to do with being a tranny. If you're into that you need a different blog.
Ciao
Jerry x
I just thought I'd better say a quick congratulations to President Barack Obama for winning the Nobel Peace Prize. Obviously it being a prize you win for spreading peace is something I deeply believe in supporting, and who better to win it than old Barry! Now I know there's been a lot of criticism about it, what with people saying 'oh he didn't deserve to win' and 'he hasn't done anything yet' and 'It's a bloody outrage' and yeah, while there may be some truth to that all I am saying is, give him a chance. Just like John Lennon used to say. And he was a big fan of peace, he was always banging on about it. Mind you I don't think he ever won an award for it. He does have an airport named after him though, so it's swings and roundabouts I suppose. He probably didn't win one though because while he said he was doing stuff for peace he was never out of bed, that is one thing Baz has against him. I bet a day hasn't gone by since he was elected where he's thought 'you know what? I think I deserve a lie in today'. In that sense he's much more hands on than John.
I have nothing against Mr Lennon himself, he seemed to be a lovely guy but I did have problems with his messages. Yes he was all for peace but as I've said A: he couldn't drag himself away from the duvet and B: He was always a bit near sighted in his goals. 'Imagine' was a great song but you can imagine a world with no possessions all you want Johnny boy but just imagining it is doing no good. You have to actually do something about it. What if Martin Luther King had just imagined a better world and left it at that? He'd have had his dream then rolled over and snuggled up to Yoko to drift off again.
So yeah I'm all for Barack winning the prize, good on him. I'm doing what I can for peace and while I'm not doing it for the accolades it would be nice to know that your good work goes appreciated. The closest I've got to that is getting a certificate to show I completed my level one water safety course and all I had to do for that was wear my pyjamas in the pool and swim with a football under my chin. My friend Gary was livid because he didn't get his certificate, the teacher said if the demonstration doll had been a real child then they would have drowned before he'd even got his shirt off. I used to bring my medal in every week just to rub it in. It was brilliant. I imagine that's how Mr Obama is feeling right now...although I don't think he gets to sew a little badge into his trunks.
Anyway that's all from me for now, keep doing what you can and remember if you want to MAKE a difference, you have to BE the difference. That's got nothing to do with being a tranny. If you're into that you need a different blog.
Ciao
Jerry x
Monday 5 October 2009
Hello there!
Hello there,
my name is Jerry Bucham, and I am a protest singer/songwriter and freelance activist. Fight the Cause. This is the first of what will hopefully be a lot of blogs in which I am able to get my message out there to like-minded people, I realise that using the Internet to do this means the majority of my audience will be geeks and paedophiles but I don't mind, I have nothing against them. Geeks I mean, not paedophiles, I don't like them, and i think as far as protesting goes, paedophiles cause more problems than they solve really. Trust me I know, a friend of mine set up a campaign to help save a rare breed of gorilla and to help raise awareness he enlisted the help of TV personality Gary Rhodes, I did the same thing with Gary Glitter and those monkeys never stood a chance.
It's the same thing with Roman Polanski really, I was all for going to Switzerland to set up camp and try get him freed, much like I did with Mandela and Deirdre Rachid but then I realized that sleeping with kiddies is technically illegal and so I just thought my presence there would simple confuse the matter. Never mind.
Anyway this is where I will be updating people with my whereabouts and activities and also letting you know what my opinions are. I warn you now I won't hold back, it's going to be hard hitting and opinionated. Much like I was when they tried to bring back Catchphrase without Roy Walker, I wasn't going to stand for it and I didn't. Weeks, I spent outside BBC television centre trying to get my message heard. It was only later that someone told me Catchphrase was on ITV, but by that time the show had been cancelled due to poor viewing figures, so you see, you can't fool the public, they will stand up for what is right! That and I think it was struggling after being scheduled against Pets Win Prizes. Remember that? It was brilliant.
So I think I've given you a good idea of what this blog will be like, come back soon for some more fighting from the front line of the revolution. Just like John Lennon said. 'Jai Guru Dave Om'. I don't know who Dave is but he seems to know what he's on about.
Until next time followers!
Jerry x
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