A Right Royal Day!

Well guys,

Friday was the Official Royal wedding of Prince William and Kate Middle-class (that's just a joke based on the fact she's well off and her name's Middleton). Now as a protester I am dead against the Royal family, so I decided to stage a demonstration against a street party being held near my home in Bristol.

My problem with the Royal family is this: I find the whole thing an elitist and upper-class example of how the bourgeois look down on us and command us to do their bidding. OK a lot has changed in recent years but I find the entire institution an outdated and negative spectacle which sends our modern and multicultural society back into the dark ages.

That said, I had a wonderful day!

I was stood in the middle of the road with my placards* and megaphone trying to drum up some support but no one was having it. Three hours I was there! I almost gave up and went home then Pat from number 32 came out with a bottle of Tuborg and a slice of pork pie! God bless her. I tried to resist at first but then you'd be surprised how moist Melton Mowbray pies are - delicious! Anyway, she invited me round to join her folks and I'll be honest I had a whale of a time! There were cocktails, a buffet and even a paddling pool! Get in! I didn't leave till gone 2am. Wild night!

So this is just a shout out to Pat, Geoff, Nigel, Sue and the kids! Peace to the Benchwood Road massive!

However I still believe the wedding is a symbol of elitist oppression.

Best,


Jerry x

*(the placards read: 'Down with the Uppers' - it was meant to suggest the over-throwing of the higher classes, in retrospect it looked like I was selling A-class narcotics. In fact I was approached several times. Oh and if Speedo Jim is reading this then I hope you found your dealer.)

Censeless!

Well folks,

I got my Census through the door the other day, as I'm sure you did. Have you filled yours in yet? I haven't. And I don't intend to. You'd be a fool to do it. It's just another way for the Government to keep tabs on you! I'm not falling for their traps! If The Man wants to know what I'm up to and when and where then he can ask me face to face.

I don't like giving too much information away as it means you can be traced. Like Matt Damon in that film - Good Will Hunting. They knew his every move. I very nearly didn't sign up for a Tesco's Club Card for the same reason. They asked too many questions. In the end I went for it. Yeah, they might know my shopping habits but at least this ways I get points for buying my Kumquats!

So just remember guys don't be handing out your personal information to just anyone -it's not safe! Only trust certain people. Like this guy I've been emailing, Prince Abalakiki. Apparently he's looking for some help. He needs the funds to return home to Nigeria - I think he's in Peckham at the moment - and he approached me directly. Obviously he knows what good I do and so has been modest enough to ask himself. I'm only too happy to help. Now if only I can remember the name of my first pet...

see you guys!


Jerry x