It's all Greek to me (except it's not, it's American)

Alright.

I just thought I’d write down a couple of my thoughts on the US Presidential Elections – everyone else is doing it, so I thought why not?

Choosing between Mitt Romney and Barack Obama is not easy. It’s like trying to decide between Sting’s solo work and his time in the Police or sweet and salted popcorn or Ant and Dec. No one wants to make these difficult decisions; it will affect everyone, it could potentially rip the cinema snack industry in half and it will certainly leave a lot of people upset, mainly Ant. Whatever the case; please vote, you Americans. It’s important. It doesn’t matter who you vote for, it’s the taking part that counts. I supported Barack Obama last time because a lot of my best friends are American. Well, not loads of them, but some. Mainly one bloke, Ethan, who I have a pen-pal relationship with. I’m not entire convinced he’s not on death row for something serious, but each to their own. ‘Penitentiary’ is American for ‘prison’ right?

I know a lot of Americans are getting angry at us non-USers for sharing our opinions, because they feel the outcome of the election doesn’t affect us, but with respect, I think they’re wrong. If you look at the film Independence Day (brilliant, isn’t it?) the story only really shows us the effects of an Alien invasion on the USA and, in particular, the President of said USA. If we didn’t pay an interest in American politics then our enjoyment of future disaster movies, and their political context, hangs in the balance. I don't want any old so-and-so saving the world with Jeff Goldblum.

I’m a liberal (I think), so you would assume that I would be backing Mr. Obama himself, however being liberal (and a full time activist) I believe in equality; so in my mind the best solution would be letting them both have a crack at it. It is clearly working here in the UK, David Cameron and the other bloke in the Coalition are showing a united front on every decision; from looking after single mums, to caring for the needs of the elderly, from steadying the path of today’s students to helping those what can’t afford to live in London to move miles and miles away from there. Yes, they are making some unpopular choices, but then which politicians don’t? Look at John Major and Edwina Currie. I think the best solution is to let Romney and Obama join forces, at the very least it might create some Odd Couple-style relationship which would make a great reality television series.*

I’m glad I’m not American. I say that because I wouldn't want to be in their shoes at the voting booths, primarily because there seems to be a lot of waiting around. I get a lot of my footwear from Shoe Zone and I’ll be honest; it doesn't hold up to much - I just wore out a pair of espadrilles queuing for the Log Flume at Alton Towers. Nevertheless, I wish every American person the best when voting. Follow your heart;do what you think is right, feel the force.

Ask yourself this: do you vote for Barack Obama who has done an OK job so far by; being black, giving healthcare to poorly poor people, going ahead with tax cuts even thought they helped create jobs and slow down the recession, getting troops out of other countries, killing bad Muslim men, being a feminist, liking gay couples, being black – the list goes on.

Or do you vote for Mitt Romney who doesn’t let religion cloud his judgment but actually inform it and who will solve the economy in no specific terms, help out his super rich friends so that they’ll help you through the goodness of their hearts, motivate unemployed people by cutting off their money, get lazy mums working again, support diversity (within reason) and leave the housing crisis to sort itself out. A guy who is pro anti-abortion, anti-affordable healthcare, anti-letting gay people get married and pro-allegedly darkening his skin colour to show his support for ethnic people?

See; I never said it was easy, did I?

Whatever happens in this crazy world that we call…elections, at least we can take some comfort from knowing that whichever side people come down on, the world will still have Sting, in some capacity. God Bless America and all who vote in her.



* If you’re a TV person, get in touch.

For Sale: Second Hand Television Centre

Hey gang,

So, I've just heard that the BBC have put plans into action to sell off Television Centre. I am livid! For a start the market's in no fit state to sell anything. I've been trying to find a new flat recently - it's damp; long story (well it's not, we just have damp) but I'm struggling to sell. And I'm renting! Probably why they won't let me sell it.

Nevertheless it's not the time for the Beeb to be making any rash decisions. Do they not watch Location, Location, Location? Oh, maybe not, what with them being rivals an that. It is Channel4 after all. Well, Homes Under the Hammer then? OK, it's not as good but they do have Top Tips for selling a property.

Anyway, the main reason for my disapproval is because it's such an important part of my childhood. I grew up watching shows broadcast live from TV Centre and don't want to see that disappear. I've spent a lot of my protesting years there too; I once demonstrated against Nick Griffin's appearance on Question Time. Well, it didn't quite work out like that. In the end it turned out I was next to the Gardner's Question Time studio. Monty Don didn't know what was going on! And of course, there's the famous incident where the Sex Pistols swore during a live broadcast of the Today show. I know that was on Thames television but still, I think the effects of the attack on censorship was felt in TV studios the world over. It certainly did in Bristol. I've never managed such an act of disobedience on live TV. I once chucked a 'nob' into a recording of Jeremy Kyle but they edited it out. Shame.

So, that's my thoughts on the closing of Television Centre! Don't do it! It would be a travesty, a failure, a loss to our national cultural and social heritage. That, and the opening credits of Live and Kicking would date dramatically.

Think on BBC!

Cheers,

Jerry x

Nobody's AVin' any change

Well guys I'm not going to lie to you, I'm depressed.

I've just heard that AV has been outvoted in favour of what's gone before. I'm proper gutted. I'm guessing that it was because people didn't know, didn't care or didn't understand - to be fair, I didn't quite get it myself but I know Cameron was against it and I'm all for sticking it to the man so I voted 'yes'. Well, I wanted to.

Unfortunately it turns out I'm not a registered voter! I know! What rubbish. I live in a flat don't I? I'm British, aren't I? So why can I not vote? It turns out it's because I haven't registered myself. Fair dos. It's not actually my fault though, it's Brillo's fault. Brillo's my flat mate and when we moved in I asked him to sort out the council tax but he obviously forgot. That's fair enough; he's a busy guy - he's currently part of an surreal anti-authority artistic movement, he stands up again oppression using art installations as his weapons. Basically, he runs round shopping centres when he's painted his arse blue. Even so, if he'd sorted out the Council Tax liked I'd asked then I may have been registered in time to vote. It's like I keep saying to him 'smashing the system is all well and good mate, but if you can't even sort a simple piece of accommodational admin then we'll never get anything done.'

Anyway, it's a shame AV didn't make it in as I was trying to tie it in to a new campaign I'm starting up to help raise awareness of intolerance towards deaf and blind people (ie those that are impaired audioally and visually). It was going to be called 'Yes2AV4AV' and the slogan would have been 'see hear!' Anyway I never got it sorted in time, as I was setting up with a deaf lad called Mike Packem but I rang his mobile to finalise details the other week and he never answered. Probably forgot to put it on vibrate. Oh well, there's always next time.


Keep on fighting guys!


Jerry x

A Right Royal Day!

Well guys,

Friday was the Official Royal wedding of Prince William and Kate Middle-class (that's just a joke based on the fact she's well off and her name's Middleton). Now as a protester I am dead against the Royal family, so I decided to stage a demonstration against a street party being held near my home in Bristol.

My problem with the Royal family is this: I find the whole thing an elitist and upper-class example of how the bourgeois look down on us and command us to do their bidding. OK a lot has changed in recent years but I find the entire institution an outdated and negative spectacle which sends our modern and multicultural society back into the dark ages.

That said, I had a wonderful day!

I was stood in the middle of the road with my placards* and megaphone trying to drum up some support but no one was having it. Three hours I was there! I almost gave up and went home then Pat from number 32 came out with a bottle of Tuborg and a slice of pork pie! God bless her. I tried to resist at first but then you'd be surprised how moist Melton Mowbray pies are - delicious! Anyway, she invited me round to join her folks and I'll be honest I had a whale of a time! There were cocktails, a buffet and even a paddling pool! Get in! I didn't leave till gone 2am. Wild night!

So this is just a shout out to Pat, Geoff, Nigel, Sue and the kids! Peace to the Benchwood Road massive!

However I still believe the wedding is a symbol of elitist oppression.

Best,


Jerry x

*(the placards read: 'Down with the Uppers' - it was meant to suggest the over-throwing of the higher classes, in retrospect it looked like I was selling A-class narcotics. In fact I was approached several times. Oh and if Speedo Jim is reading this then I hope you found your dealer.)

Back on the Blog!

Hi Guys!

Sorry I haven't been in touch for a while but it's been all go my end! I tell you, this last few months in particular has seen a positive boom in protesting, which is brilliant. On the flipside of that though, it means there's been an increase in crimes against human rights, animals and the enviroment, but hey ho, it's swings and round abouts. And if it wasn't for injustices then I'd be out of a job. My protesting job that is, not my part time work at JD Wetherspoons. I couldn't do without that!

Anyway I want to start this message with a quick congrats to all my Eygptian friends! Hats off to you guys for noticing a problem with the government and kick out Barak Obama! Never liked him anyway. It just goes to show that standing up against oppression will get you seen. It also goes to show that errecting camping sites in city centres is a useful and successful means of housing. Which is what my new campaign is about. I'm hoping to speak to the Mayor of London - Boris Johnson himself, about my new idea for a tent site in Trafalga Square. The scheme's called Centre Parkers and is aiming to house the homeless in urban areas. It's a bit like Butlins but for tramps.

Right well I can't hang around him all day telling you all about my ideas, I have to go put them into practice. But my heart goes out to those guys in Libya - you can do it. I've never liked that Colonel Gaddafi anyway. He's a right pain. I know what it's like trying to get rid of someone you don't want. I once had a mate who stayed over for a night. That turned into three weeks, and he never once did the washing up. In the end I just had to ask him politely to leave. It worked. Try it, you never know.

All the best and much love,

Jerry x

Greenpeace please!

Hey Bloggers, it's me, fight the cause!

Now some of you may have noticed that yesterday 50 protesters from Greenpeace scaled the walls of the Houses of Parliament to protest about climate change, 20 of the fellas are still up there! But I know what you're thinking; Jerry how comes you're not up there supporting them? Well, although I am not an official member of Greenpeace, I do do some freelance work for them from time to time. Just to make up the numbers. And I was supposed to be among those very few up their today and yesterday but in the end I just had too many commitments. Well the truth is I missed the coach. We had it all planned out, I was going to join them up their to spread the word about global warming, I was even going to perform my latest protest ballad 'Turn It Down to 30' while they read out the manifesto but unfortunately it wasn't to be.

The original plan was to meet the coach at 11am to drive down the the Houses of Parliament but I was still stuck in my local branch of Millets at ten to! I was discussing the best form of spray on waterproofing with the sales assistant and just lost track of time. I'm absolutely gutted as you can imagine, not only did I miss out on sticking one to the man but I spent over £300 on a sleeping bag, ground sheet and a pair of fully lined durable hiking boots. That's a waste in itself. Still there's always eBay. Ridiculous. Anyway my heart goes out to the boys I hope they got the message across, we came up with a right catchy slogan 'Sunshine Bummer'. See it's a play on the phrase sunshine summer. Quite clever actually. It just goes to show that sometimes these big demonstrations really do make a difference. Like the time I was doing my bit for Fathers For Justice, well sort of, actually it was just a Rooftop Halloween party that got a bit out of hand but never mind.

Anyway that's all from me, remember don't fight for your right. (I can't stand violent demonstrations)

Cheers

Jerry x

Give Barack A Chance!

Hey there blog fans, fight the cause!

I just thought I'd better say a quick congratulations to President Barack Obama for winning the Nobel Peace Prize. Obviously it being a prize you win for spreading peace is something I deeply believe in supporting, and who better to win it than old Barry! Now I know there's been a lot of criticism about it, what with people saying 'oh he didn't deserve to win' and 'he hasn't done anything yet' and 'It's a bloody outrage' and yeah, while there may be some truth to that all I am saying is, give him a chance. Just like John Lennon used to say. And he was a big fan of peace, he was always banging on about it. Mind you I don't think he ever won an award for it. He does have an airport named after him though, so it's swings and roundabouts I suppose. He probably didn't win one though because while he said he was doing stuff for peace he was never out of bed, that is one thing Baz has against him. I bet a day hasn't gone by since he was elected where he's thought 'you know what? I think I deserve a lie in today'. In that sense he's much more hands on than John.

I have nothing against Mr Lennon himself, he seemed to be a lovely guy but I did have problems with his messages. Yes he was all for peace but as I've said A: he couldn't drag himself away from the duvet and B: He was always a bit near sighted in his goals. 'Imagine' was a great song but you can imagine a world with no possessions all you want Johnny boy but just imagining it is doing no good. You have to actually do something about it. What if Martin Luther King had just imagined a better world and left it at that? He'd have had his dream then rolled over and snuggled up to Yoko to drift off again.

So yeah I'm all for Barack winning the prize, good on him. I'm doing what I can for peace and while I'm not doing it for the accolades it would be nice to know that your good work goes appreciated. The closest I've got to that is getting a certificate to show I completed my level one water safety course and all I had to do for that was wear my pyjamas in the pool and swim with a football under my chin. My friend Gary was livid because he didn't get his certificate, the teacher said if the demonstration doll had been a real child then they would have drowned before he'd even got his shirt off. I used to bring my medal in every week just to rub it in. It was brilliant. I imagine that's how Mr Obama is feeling right now...although I don't think he gets to sew a little badge into his trunks.

Anyway that's all from me for now, keep doing what you can and remember if you want to MAKE a difference, you have to BE the difference. That's got nothing to do with being a tranny. If you're into that you need a different blog.

Ciao

Jerry x

Hello there!

Hello there,

my name is Jerry Bucham, and I am a protest singer/songwriter and freelance activist. Fight the Cause. This is the first of what will hopefully be a lot of blogs in which I am able to get my message out there to like-minded people, I realise that using the Internet to do this means the majority of my audience will be geeks and paedophiles but I don't mind, I have nothing against them. Geeks I mean, not paedophiles, I don't like them, and i think as far as protesting goes, paedophiles cause more problems than they solve really. Trust me I know, a friend of mine set up a campaign to help save a rare breed of gorilla and to help raise awareness he enlisted the help of TV personality Gary Rhodes, I did the same thing with Gary Glitter and those monkeys never stood a chance.

It's the same thing with Roman Polanski really, I was all for going to Switzerland to set up camp and try get him freed, much like I did with Mandela and Deirdre Rachid but then I realized that sleeping with kiddies is technically illegal and so I just thought my presence there would simple confuse the matter. Never mind.

Anyway this is where I will be updating people with my whereabouts and activities and also letting you know what my opinions are. I warn you now I won't hold back, it's going to be hard hitting and opinionated. Much like I was when they tried to bring back Catchphrase without Roy Walker, I wasn't going to stand for it and I didn't. Weeks, I spent outside BBC television centre trying to get my message heard. It was only later that someone told me Catchphrase was on ITV, but by that time the show had been cancelled due to poor viewing figures, so you see, you can't fool the public, they will stand up for what is right! That and I think it was struggling after being scheduled against Pets Win Prizes. Remember that? It was brilliant.

So I think I've given you a good idea of what this blog will be like, come back soon for some more fighting from the front line of the revolution. Just like John Lennon said. 'Jai Guru Dave Om'. I don't know who Dave is but he seems to know what he's on about.

Until next time followers!

Jerry x